Why, of course, I'll be suing this website that purports to use me as the source of their inspiration. There is NO WAY I'm going to let these stinky peons call me a narcissist. And I'm probably going to let my lawyers have a whack at that Top Gun parody, too.
http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2006/02/wheat-thins-chips.html
Monday, February 13, 2006
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
On milkshakes
A few notes before I leave for Australia. As most of you know I'm flying there to attend a funeral for Kerry Packer's funeral. I bestowed upon him the Scientologific light and he's very very rich. So don't get your hopes up that I'll be attending YOUR funeral just because you've converted ... but it's tantalizingly remotely possible.
Katie will be coming with. Don't believe the nonsense you hear about it being dangerous for her to fly this late into her pregnancy. Doctors often don't know a thing about medicine. I believe the combination of cabin pressure on a trans-Atlantic flight and variations in the specific gravity of the Earth running along Australian fault lines will finely attune the path of electrons in Tom Jr's ... I mean my baby's brain.
Also, a note on diversity. I've given Kanye West the privilege of recording the theme for M:I III. He's got a good look. You know, black, but not TOO black. And I hear he can sing. I attended a performance of his the other night, and while I couldn't tell exactly which performer he was, I was quoted in this article to good effect. This quote, however, was taken slightly out of context:
"Damn," said a very impressed Cruise, who was standing on a balcony above the stage surrounded by people such as Stephen Baldwin. "I remember when they used to just do drum solos."
I was speaking of Africans in general.
And lastly, this woman is stalking me. I have no idea who she is, but nothing she does relates to ANYTHING I'm involved in. I urge you to boycott anything she happens to be doing.
- Ta.
--------------
Paris, I urge you to be more tolerant of lazy minorities. Scientology teaches us that all men are capable, even if those capabilities are unrealized. My suggestion would be to find an Asian to plan the party for me. They seem to be farther along in the process.
http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2006/02/tab-pepsi-milkshake-blah-blah.html
Katie will be coming with. Don't believe the nonsense you hear about it being dangerous for her to fly this late into her pregnancy. Doctors often don't know a thing about medicine. I believe the combination of cabin pressure on a trans-Atlantic flight and variations in the specific gravity of the Earth running along Australian fault lines will finely attune the path of electrons in Tom Jr's ... I mean my baby's brain.
Also, a note on diversity. I've given Kanye West the privilege of recording the theme for M:I III. He's got a good look. You know, black, but not TOO black. And I hear he can sing. I attended a performance of his the other night, and while I couldn't tell exactly which performer he was, I was quoted in this article to good effect. This quote, however, was taken slightly out of context:
"Damn," said a very impressed Cruise, who was standing on a balcony above the stage surrounded by people such as Stephen Baldwin. "I remember when they used to just do drum solos."
I was speaking of Africans in general.
And lastly, this woman is stalking me. I have no idea who she is, but nothing she does relates to ANYTHING I'm involved in. I urge you to boycott anything she happens to be doing.
- Ta.
--------------
Paris, I urge you to be more tolerant of lazy minorities. Scientology teaches us that all men are capable, even if those capabilities are unrealized. My suggestion would be to find an Asian to plan the party for me. They seem to be farther along in the process.
http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2006/02/tab-pepsi-milkshake-blah-blah.html
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Why you people piss me off sometimes
What are you, fucking stupid or something? What the HELL are you thinking? I can't believe this! It's SO HORRENDOUSLY WRONG AND STUPID. This is why I decided to grace the world with my progeny. I must do SOMETHING to prop up the gene pool.
http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2006/02/kit-kat-milkshake.html
http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2006/02/kit-kat-milkshake.html
Thursday, February 02, 2006
My burrito.
Speaking of burritos, here's how I've wrapped mine. Nothing's too good for Tom's filling.
http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2006/02/wraps-great-mega.html
http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2006/02/wraps-great-mega.html
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