Reese and his piece

I do believe my nuts inspired this posting, as is often the case.

Don't forget my mixed nuts!

It is quite obvious to me, as I am an expert in such matters, that you people need to come off your medications and chew on my super salty premium nuts instead.


All proceeds benefit the L. Ron. Hubbard Orphanage, which consists of a small group of alien children displaced by hurricane Katrina. Katie and I keep them in our basement in a protective womb of magnetic protoplasm.

http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/10/reeses-pieces-w-nuts.html

More on nuts.

While you obviously ignorant types will be eating NIP food at this terribly misspelled restaurant, rest assured that Katie and I WILL be spreading the truth about Scientology. And if you want nuts, I'LL SHOW YOU NUTS. KATIE LOVES MY NUTS! YOU SO DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT NUTS. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT NUTS!

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Tom's Balls is a town just outside Houston, and so is Katy. Suck on that.

http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/10/cafe-japon.html

sonic ciabatta samwich?

Sorry I haven't been around. I've been so confused the past couple of days. Like, I found out I have something called "sperm." I suppose that's cause for celebration, but apparently it has disasterous effects. Does anybody have a Prozac I can take, and the number to a good plasic surgeo ... i mean abortionist?

I don't like tots either. Nobody should have them, and infants are even worse. It's a psychologically unsound practice.



http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/10/sonic-ciabatta-samwich.html

Swirly morels.

Oh my god! I have a lump that looks just like these morsels right on my crotch. No wonder katie is always telling me I taste so sweet!

Well, I call her Kate in the media, because my lawyers advise me to. Something about her real age, or other such legal mumbo jumbo. At home, when we're playing barbies and stuff, I call her Katie. It makes me giggle.

SHE LIKES TOMMY MORSELS AND KATY BITS!

http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/09/nestle-toll-house-swirled-morsels.html

Kit Kat

I keep my kit kats in a very secret place. Then I make katie try and find them. They almost fell out on the Oprah show.

http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/09/kit-kat-coffee.html

I rate.

I use a star system to rate my women. Let's compare nicole and my darling katie.

Nicole: unreviewable.

Katie:
Food: *
Atmosphere: *
Service: **********

Plus, we can wear the SAME CLOTHES! That really cinched the deal for me. But that bitch better never even think about touching my Scarlett O'Hara outfit.

http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/08/tgif.html

Katie's ass.

Paris' butt looks like some sort of cancer growth. My Katie has an ass made out of gold.

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You can't believe those rags. They actually indicated that i was married to somebody named ... well I forget her name. But it was never true. At home I like to call Katie "Toots" or "Hey, You."

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I may have erroneously implied that my child/girlfriend/whatever's ass is better than mine. Before the rumors begin FLYING, I'd like to say that's not true. I check my ass in the mirror, from all angles, four or five times a day and can say with confidence that it's the envy of every gay man in America. Hooah!

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You (whomever you are) don't know gay. I KNOW gay.

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Rob Thomas, however, is the aforementioned SO gay.

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Yeah? You come over here and I'll SHOW you gay, ok? What-ev-er.



http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/08/rosemary-olive-oil-triscuits.html

To ann's cafe?

I think I'll take my child bride here. Though I hope they open early, before her bedtime.

http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/08/anns-cafe.html

Glorias

Gloria's isn't all that. I mean, I go on tuesdays, which is gay night, and there's always all these homos around. Does. not. make. Tom. happy.

Plus, If you've ever been to Salvadoria, as I have, you'll know Gloria's is just watered-down tex-mex with some banana leaves thrown in.

Good for LaLa and Juan, but I don't eat out of pity and don't praise for novelty. I was born fairly middle-class but tugged on my Donald J Pliners and became a movie star - the greatest ever. It wasn't very hard.

http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/08/hermosa-bakery-pupuseria.html

Mint bar.

Lauren Bacall is a ho. Who has she to say anything about me? What has she done? Did she do Top Gun? NO. Did she do Risky Business? NO. I'd never date her. And don't think I couldn't.

Everything relates to me, ok? I challenge Ms. Bacall to see who looks better in a bra and panites, me or her. I bet I win.

Who can suck it up their nose better? ME.

http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/08/nestletoll-house-mint-ic-bar.html