You all have been clamoring for my list of New Year's predictions, and I am more than happy to oblige. These predictions are, of course, based on the foremost scientific knowlege of our time. I'd go into details, but why bother with something you just wouldn't understand?
1. Many of you will see "Mission Impossible III" this summer and make it the film with the best opening of all time. A record that will stand for the ages.
2. A popular uprising in the UK in early 2006 will move Paris Hilton to the top of the just-released "most annoying" celebrities list.
3. A new video workout tape called "Jumping the Couch" based on the gym routine of a well-known celeb will sweep the nation and rid it of obese children and old people with weak hearts.
4. Many of the rescue workers from the 9-11 attacks will find themselves surprisingly clean and free of toxins while having regular bowel movements. Some of them, however, will unavoidably die.
5. I may or may not get married. It depends.
BONUS:
I will have a baby. It will be mine. I'm certainly not going to be carrying it around though. Katie has agreed to be the depository for my baby. The sex of my baby is known to ME. I have predicted the sex and I know what it is. That's all you need to know for now, because I don't want to draw attention to the fact that I am having a baby. But here is a clue. Thank you, by the way, for all the blue holiday gifts.
http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/12/pokey-os.html
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The wisdom you people have been clamoring for is here.
About Tom Cruise
- Tom Cruise
- Wherever I want.
- As if you don't know who I am. This is so laughable.