New year's predictions (I was right!)

You all have been clamoring for my list of New Year's predictions, and I am more than happy to oblige. These predictions are, of course, based on the foremost scientific knowlege of our time. I'd go into details, but why bother with something you just wouldn't understand?

1. Many of you will see "Mission Impossible III" this summer and make it the film with the best opening of all time. A record that will stand for the ages.

2. A popular uprising in the UK in early 2006 will move Paris Hilton to the top of the just-released "most annoying" celebrities list.

3. A new video workout tape called "Jumping the Couch" based on the gym routine of a well-known celeb will sweep the nation and rid it of obese children and old people with weak hearts.

4. Many of the rescue workers from the 9-11 attacks will find themselves surprisingly clean and free of toxins while having regular bowel movements. Some of them, however, will unavoidably die.

5. I may or may not get married. It depends.

BONUS:
I will have a baby. It will be mine. I'm certainly not going to be carrying it around though. Katie has agreed to be the depository for my baby. The sex of my baby is known to ME. I have predicted the sex and I know what it is. That's all you need to know for now, because I don't want to draw attention to the fact that I am having a baby. But here is a clue. Thank you, by the way, for all the blue holiday gifts.

http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/12/pokey-os.html

Merry Holiday

Hello, and "happy holidays" to all of you people. I'm sorry I'm so late to address the following, but sometimes I tend to give more credit than what is due. It's the curse of being a nice guy. It's how I personally was raised. Now, on to my concern. I've received several "holiday" and "christmas" cards from some of you well-meaning (I surmise) people. But, if I've said it once I've said it a million times: THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC BASIS FOR THE HOLIDAYS OR THIS SO-CALLED CHRISTMAS. I know you don't know L. Ron like I do, but surely you could have figured this out on your own. These holidays are just a psycho-drama perpetuated by retailers, telephone companies and the media, except for feature-length film companies. So forgive the hell out of me, if I don't answer these greetings. If you MUST send something, please make it a check to the Katie Holmes Vomitorium, which furthers the cause of resolving stomach upset stemming from I don't know what. Have a nice end of December.

http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/12/zea-woodfire-grill.html

Blue.

As you all know by now, Katie and I have registered at Neiman's. MY FAVORITE COLOR IS BLUE. Katie doesn't have a favorite color. So make sure everything you buy is BLUE. It is very important that you follow these instructions, because I don't want to have to waste my time buying blue things. It IS my wedding afterall, and you need to get me what I want. Don't get crazy and start thinking you know better than me. And for god's sake don't buy anything pink. I'm sure you wish us all the best. Have fun shopping!

http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2005/12/hersheys-pb-kiss.html