HEY, Jet parking is FULL at Fiumicino. Please re-route smaller planes to Ciampino. Those with larger craft will have to land at Pescara or maybe even Palermo, but we will have choppers standing by to ferry you to the lake. Yachts may still berth in the usual places and we will have limos available. Please remember to observe the no-fly zone over France. And thanks to you who jet-pooled to save on fuel.
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Do NOT park in the driveway, people. Jesus christ.
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Some of you stupidly didn't bring satellite phones and we're having a hard time contacting you with the schedule (attn: WILL SMITH). Dinner is in an hour, so get ready. Afterward there's drinks, some entertainment and then the limbo contest. LIMBO! Woo-HAH! Get ready to GET DOWN.
I've also been told there's a little girl wandering around on the front lawn and crying. Her name appears to be kate ... katie ... something.
http://tgubbins.blogspot.com/2006/11/starbucks-grandmas-turkey-sandwich.html
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